December 2, 2021

Living Sgl in a Dbl Occ World

By In Do, Feel, Listen, Taste, Think

The most famous story of pairings has to be the one about Noah’s Ark.
All the animals came in twos because after the flood
the earth was going to need to be repopulated.

I’m guessing that in the gathering process,
there were some instances of incompatibility.
That would be one theory of why some species became extinct.

That could actually explain the Unicorn’s absence.
Maybe Noah just picked the wrong two
(or the right two, because God doesn’t make mistakes
and He may have just wanted us to have a “mythical” creature to fuel our fairy tales.)

The bottom line though is the dbl occ thing has gone a little bit too far.

Point in case –

I am a tasting menu fan.
I love to see how chefs create a culinary journey for the palate
from amuse bouche through mignardises.

I’ve been fortunate enough to experience Charlie Trotter’s
(God rest his soul), and Blackbird – both in Chicago,
Le Bernadin and Momofuku Ko in NYC,
twice at Ko,
once for lunch and once for dinner
(different menus and totally different experiences).
I also recently sampled the tasting menu
at Volt (yes, Table 21!),
Nobu 57 in NYC,
and Brewers Table
(part of the Surly Brewing Company in Minneapolis),
recently honored
as one of Food and Wine magazine’s
Top Ten Restaurabts of 2016.

I was about to add a Maude’s notch to my belt.
Maude’s is in LA.

It’s what I call a concept restaurant which focuses its’ menu items
around one central ingredient that features in every course.
For example, November’s star of the month
has lately been the White Truffle
with December featuring the Black Truffle.

Reservations at Maude’s open the first day of the month
prior to the one in which you’d actually care to dine there.
They are payable in advance and they do sell out quickly.

Well, I was all set.
I put the reservation date on my calendar
so I wouldn’t miss out on this fab thing.

When the day came, I hopped online and I was about to be in the game
when I was confronted with this message on their website – I’ll paraphrase:

Reservations have to be for two or more.

Hunh?!

What?!

Really?!

Someone please push my pair of bulging eyeballs back into their single sockets.

It has been bad enough that I’m faced with “sgl supplements” when traveling alone —
never mind that by myself I’m only half of a duo’s carbon footprint,
plus, my room is only one-half mussed AND the hotels and resorts get to save on anything designated for two that is part of the deal.

None of this matters!

All-inclusive resorts are even demanding dbl all-inclusive fee payments from sgl guests.
This is getting out of hand people!

Now, if I have to pay for twice the food and drink,
I’m feeling obligated to be stuffed and supremely top shelf toasted the whole time.

What kind of vacation is that?

Further, to avoid paying the vig sometimes results in traveling with friends
who might be available and willing to join my adventure.

My schedule is not in keeping with the average nine to fiver’s life.

The issue with recruiting people with like time availability
is that maybe I don’t really want those available people on my adventure.
I’m just saying.

The one sure fire way to test a friendship
is a couple of weeks somewhere negotiating activities.

I was raised as an only child.

Consulting people about things when I’m on vacation ain’t high on my list.

Capisce?

Fun sometimes just happens.
I don’t want to talk the fun out of the fun.

(Significant Others are not on the list of people who get left off the train.
That is an altogether different story and level of negotiation.)

So now – there are actually restaurants telling me I can’t even eat by myself?!

You’ve got to be frickin’ kidding me.

Everybody’s not necessarily buying into my dreams,
visions, goals, travel plans, or dining adventures.

They’ve got their own lists!

Plus, what if a person doesn’t actually want to be alone
but that’s just how it is right now.

Why add insult to injury and say YOU’VE GOT TO BRING A FRIEND OR WE WON’T SERVE YOU!

Let me tell you,
when first I added this place to my list,
the reported cost of a November white truffle dinner
from the year 2014
was listed at $110.
When I attempted to make my reservation the following year
the tab had grown to the tune of 450+ percent so —
it was going to be me
biting a 12 gauge bullet
to treat myself to this OH-TEE-OH experience — One Time Only! (Actually, 12 gauge ammunition is considered a shell – but you get my drift – lots of teeth clinching.)

I didn’t check for 2016 prices because
I’m still in awe
of their duos or more policy. Also, I did not call to plead my case
with a person on the phone because why should I have to do that?
The website was clear.

The policy begs the question:

What is it they think a sgl diner will do?

Honestly, at those prices,
I wouldn’t be trying to talk to other people.

At those prices, my pair of eyes would be glued to my sgl plate
to see if the food levitates or otherwise transforms
in some magical fashion to a precious metal.

By the way, did I mention the restaurant has 25 seats?

Doesn’t that mean that there is sometimes one odd man/woman out if 12 pairs happen?

Is it possible the sgl diner gets a seat as a last resort?

Ahhh.

If only I could wait to see if the restaurant would deign to bow and seat me – alone.

Truth be told,
I actually considered buying the dbl ticket
to be able to experience this culinary wonder…
expensive albeit not cost prohibitive

BUT

a) They pissed me off with this whack notion
of requiring two people for the reservation

and

b) I frankly wasn’t sure the food would be great enough to pay twice for it!
(Also — C’mon! Say it with me!
You know I can make that at home. Ha!)

Keep in mind, this isn’t about the cost of things.

This a trend!

Deals available on websites like Travelzoo and Groupon are more and more frequently requiring two or more to enjoy the benefits.

There seems to be some movement afoot which is increasingly discriminatory as it applies to the solo fliers out here.

Someone isn’t doing their due diligence when it comes to the research. There is an entire segment of the population living on their own. We report it on the news regularly.

Many of these people are those born in the last years
of the Baby Boom
who spent their heyday in the late 70’s through early 90’s and,
for some reason,
there are those in the group
who are, well…
I’ll stop short of saying diametrically opposed to coupling and just go with fiercely reluctant to joining forces.
(That verbiage will at least leave the door open for change. Ha!)

My mom and dad were married 55 years, inseparable until death,
but people don’t always come in pairs.

Single people travel
and eat out in restaurants.
I’ve seen them.
I’m one of them.

That doesn’t mean we sgls
wouldn’t like to be half of something twice as big,
when and/or if that time comes,
but in the meantime,
the hospitality and dining industry is heaping punishment
on sgl occ types
as if on the days you wish there was someone close in your life
you’re not being punished enough.